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Mario Kart: Double Ass!!

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Mario Kart: Double Dash
MarioKartDoubleDash
Box art
Developer(s) Nintendo
Publisher(s) Nintendo
Release date JP: November 7, 2003
EU: November 14, 2003
NA: November 17, 2003
AUS: November 19, 2003
KOR: 2003
Genre(s) Racing game
Mode(s) Single-player, Multiplayer
Ratings ESBR: Everyone
PEGI: 3+
Platform(s) Nintendo GameCube

Mario Kart: Double Dash!! is a racing game developed by Nintendo Entertainment Analysis and Development and published by Nintendo for the Nintendo GameCube. It was released in Japan on November 7, 2003, in Europe on November 14, 2003, in North America on November 17, 2003, and in Australia on November 19, 2003. It is the fourth installment in the Mario Kart series. A first run production of the game included a limited bonus disc inside the case in a second holder with exclusive content related to the other Nintendo games.

Gameplay[]

Player(s) choose from a cast of Nintendo characters who are divided into light, middle, or heavy weight classes. The player's character choice affects which karts can be ridden and driven and which Special Items they receive. Double Dash features many new things that its predecessors did not have, the most noticeable one being that each kart carries two riders; a Driver and an Item Thrower. There are sixteen courses to race on. Each cup features four tracks. Five different cup races are available, one of which is the All Cup Tour, featuring all sixteen tracks. Each track is also playable in "Mirror Mode," where the tracks are mirrored; however, Mirror Mode is only available for 150cc.

The gameplay in this is quite different than that of the other Mario Kart games. An example is that the players cannot hold items behind themselves, and it is therefore harder to block an incoming shell, as a player cannot hold a banana peel or shell behind them. Also, this is the first game in the Mario Kart series that makes players drop their items when hit with a weapon.

This installment also features multiplayer battle modes. As in previous installments, the battle arenas are enclosed, with varying architecture and a constant arsenal. In addition to the balloon-popping game, which has been the standard Mario Kart battle game, two new battle systems are included. One involves capturing a Shine Sprite and maintaining possession of it for a set time period. The other game uses only the bob-omb weapon, and uses a trade-off point system that requires the players to succeed in attacks, while also avoiding those directed at them.

Aside from the many drivers available (noticing that this was the first game with more than 8 opponents and 8 teams), many other Nintendo characters play smaller roles in the game. Lakitu reprises his role as the racetrack keeper, starting the race with a 3-2-1 coutdown, telling players when they complete a lap, warning them when they are going the wrong way, and returning drivers to the racetrack when they fall into hazardous areas. Shy Guys, Piranha Plants, Goombas, and Wigglers are also present in the game also, and take part as obstacles for the driver to avoid. Toadsworth drives the winners of a cup during the victory celebration. Piantas and Nokis from Super Mario Sunshine also cheer players on in courses, such as Peach Beach and Daisy Cruiser, and form much of the crowd at victory ceremonies (held at Peach Beach). Classic Mario series characters, including Donkey Kong Jr., can be seen in the crowds around Waluigi Stadium.

The game includes 21 karts to choose from. They are categorized by weight. Generally, lightweight karts have good acceleration and handling, and are easily able to get across rough terrain, but have low top speeds, can be knocked around by larger karts, and can only hold light characters. On the other hand, heavyweight karts usually have high top speeds, can knock around many smaller karts, but they have poor acceleration, steering, off-road handling, and can only be used if there is at least one heavy character. Middleweight karts' performance are well-balanced, but they cannot hold heavy characters. Although this, there are exceptions to this, such as the Barrel Train and Boo Pipes. Of 21 karts available in all, only eight are available from the start. The other 13 may be unlocked by successfully completing races and completing the game.

One of the new and cool things about this game is that it allows LAN play using the Nintendo GameCube broadband adapter. Up to eight GameCubes can be connected, allowing for 16 player multiplayer games (two players controlling each kart).

Characters[]

Standard Teams[]

Character Weight Special Item
Mario Medium Red Fireballs
Luigi Medium Green Fireballs
Princess Peach Medium Heart
Princess Daisy Medium Heart
Yoshi Medium Yoshi Egg
Birdo Medium Birdo Egg
Baby Mario Light Chain Chomp
Baby Luigi Light Chain Chomp
Koopa Troopa Light Triple Green Shells
Paratroopa Light Triple Red Shells
Donkey Kong Heavy Giant Banana
Diddy Kong Light Giant Banana
Bowser Heavy Bowser Shell
Bowser Jr. Light Bowser's Shell
Wario Heavy Bob-omb
Waluigi Medium Bob-omb
Fizzwidget Fat Stomach acid with a pH that’s typical from a binge at Golden Corral

Unlockable Teams[]

Character Weight Special Item How to Unlock
Toad Light Golden Mushroom Beating the Special Cup on the 100cc Mode
Toadette Light Golden Mushroom Beating the Special Cup on the 100cc Mode
Petey Piranha Heavy Any Special Item Beating the Star Cup in the Mirror Mode
King Boo Heavy Any Special Item Beating the Star Cup in the Mirror Mode

Karts[]

Karts are one of the most important things in the game. No karts, no Mario Kart game! Each one has its own characteristics. Heavy Class karts have great speed but poor acceleration. Medium Class karts are all around. Good speed, Good Accel, and mostly good weight. Light Class karts lack speed but have amazing acceleration.

Standard Karts[]

  • Red Fire
    • Class: Medium
    • Speed: 3/5
    • Accel: 3/5
    • Weight: 3/5
  • Heart Coach
    • Class: Medium
    • Speed: 2/5
    • Accel: 4/5
    • Weight: 3/5
  • Turbo Yoshi
    • Class: Medium
    • Speed: 2/5
    • Accel: 4/5
    • Weight: 3/5
  • DK Jumbo
    • Class: Heavy
    • Speed: 4/5
    • Accel: 2/5
    • Weight: 4/5
  • Wario Car
    • Class: Heavy
    • Speed: 4/5
    • Accel: 2/5
    • Weight: 4/5
  • Koopa King
    • Class: Heavy
    • Speed: 5/5
    • Accel: 1/5
    • Weight: 5/5
  • Goo Goo Buggy
    • Class: Light
    • Speed: 1/5
    • Accel: 5/5
    • Weight: 2/5
  • Koopa Asser
    • Class: Light
    • Speed: 2/5
    • Accel: 4/5
    • Weight: 2/5

Unlockable Karts[]

  • Green Fire
    • Class: Medium
    • Speed: 4/5
    • Accel: 2/5
    • Weight: 2/5
  • Bloom Coach
    • Class: Medium
    • Speed: 3/5
    • Accel: 3/5
    • Weight: 2/5
  • Turbo Birdo
    • Class: Medium
    • Speed: 3/5
    • Accel: 3/5
    • Weight: 4/5
  • Waluigi Racer
    • Class: Medium
    • Speed: 3/5
    • Accel: 3/5
    • Weight: 3/5
  • Piranha Pipes
    • Class: Heavy
    • Speed: 4/5
    • Accel: 2/5
    • Weight: 5/5
  • Boo Pipes
    • Class: Heavy
    • Speed: 2/5
    • Accel: 4/5
    • Weight: 5/5
  • Rattle Buggy
    • Class: Light
    • Speed: 2/5
    • Accel: 4/5
    • Weight: 2/5
  • Para Wing
    • Class: Light
    • Speed: 1/5
    • Accel: 5/5
    • Weight: 2/5
  • Barrel Train
    • Class: Light
    • Speed: 4/5
    • Accel: 2/5
    • Weight: 3/5
  • Bullet Blaster
    • Class: Light
    • Speed: 4/5
    • Accel: 3/5
    • Weight: 1/5
  • Toad Kart
    • Class: Light
    • Speed: 2/5
    • Accel: 4/5
    • Weight: 2/5
  • Toadette Kart
    • Class: Light
    • Speed: 1/5
    • Accel: 5/5
    • Weight: 2/5
  • Parade Kart
    • Class: All
    • Speed: 4/5
    • Accel: 3/5
    • Weight: 4/5

Courses[]

There are 16 courses to race on altogether, four of which must be unlocked. The courses are divided into a tournament cup race, where a player plays for that cup. Each cup race features four tracks. Four different cup races are available plus one which is the all-cup tour, featuring all 16 tracks.

Tracks[]

Battle Stages[]

In addition, six stages are available for Battle Mode:

Fizzwidget[]

A. Fizzwidget or Dr. Fizzwidget is a fat fucking retarded dumbass who commits self cannibalism every time he is hungry. https://youtu.be/vntKopJeeuo (https://web.archive.org/web/20220217023523/https://youtu.be/vntKopJeeuo) Abercrombie FIZZWIDGET [[1] (https://web.archive.org/web/20220217023523/https://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/scale_small/14/140474/2269479-fizzwidget.png%7C100pxpx)] A. FIZZWIDGET Homeworld Unknown(his species native from Florana) Species FATASS Hair White Eyes Black AS NIGHT Father Copernicus Fizzwidget Gender Male Weapon His own body parts, such as using him own arm as a club or tearing his head off to use as a bowling ball. He was also in the civil war and ran out of ammo for his gun, so he ripped off all his fingers and toes to use as bullets. Vehicle FIZZWIDGET’S CAR Portrayer samuel milovich Illness TYPE 666 DIABETES


Contents

1 Going Commando 1.1 Main Story (Alternate Universe) 1.1.1 Secret Post Credits Scene 2 Stories 2.1 Background 2.2 Brawls 3 Species 3.1 Description: 4 Half-Assed Explanation 4.1 Multiverse 4.2 Personality 5 Relationships 5.1 Wario - Archenemy, Friend (Formerly) 5.2 Francis - Best Friend 6 Trivia 6.1 Crimes 6.2 Preferences 6.3 Abilities 6.4 References 6.5 Other 7 Gallery Going Commando Main Story (Alternate Universe) Abercrombie Fizzwidget is a fat fucker in the Bustin Galaxy. He was a galaxy-renowned genius, and was also known to eat his customers alive. He may be the leader of the galaxy due to Megacorp's enormous sphere of influence across the galaxy. When one of his company's products - the Protopet - was discovered to have a key defect which caused it to become violent and eat its feces, he gave trevor, who worked in the genetics division, the task of fixing its flaws. Later, Captain Qwark, desperate to regain his former celebrity status after his previous humiliation at the hands of Ratchet and Clank, locked Fizzwidget in a supply closet and assumed the latter's identity, recruiting Ratchet & Clank 's heroic duo to retrieve the pile of fucking shit from FROG.Despite FROG’S best efforts, the pile of rotten shit fell into the real Fizzwidget's hands, and thousands of civilians fell victim to Fizzwidgets feces when it was released onto the market. However Ratchet, Clank and Angela eventually defeated the original Protopet, apprehended Qwark, and used Angela's Helix-o-Morph to tame every Protopet in the galaxy. Fizzwidget was then finally freed, and he ate Ratchet and Clank for all their work. He continued to provide the duo technological support afterwards. He then self cannibalized himself to death. Secret Post Credits Scene  (https://web.archive.org/web/20220217023523/https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/insomniacgoingcommando/images/7/70/Ivc9ktb3wbf31.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20190810121503) Secret Post Credits Scene There is a secret post credits scene where Fizzwidget is standing in a black void smiling at the screen but Wario appears from offscreen and rips Fizzwidget's stomach open and eats all of his guts then throws up stomach acid all over him and rips his head clean off. Fizzwidget then grows back from his head and tears his arm off and snaps wario's jaw off and they beat eachother to death as the screen slowly goes red. If you proceed back to the title screen of the game, Fizzwigdet will be hanging from a noose in a dark room and the title of the game will say, "Ratchet and Clank: Killing a Fat Fucker." Stories Background Fizzwidget is known for his insane behavior and being so stupid. This then sets him up for numerous stories and adventures that can be created and are real. Below are a few memorable moments: Brawls One time I hosted a talk show with Fizzwidget and Wario. Fizzwidget began by talking about how fat he is, but wario got pissed because he thinks hes fatter and deserves more awards. Next they revealed what they like to eat. Wario screamed "GARLIC S U R P R I S E" at the top of his lungs and the crowd gasped. Then fizzwidget, smiling, said that his favorite food is himself and ate him finger in one bite. The crowd cheered and screamed "WE LOVE YOU FIZZWIDGET, FIZZWIDGET IS AMAZING HE IS THE COOLEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!!" Wario got so fucking pissed off that he dived straight at fizzwidget and blew the wall down while screaming "I HATE YOU FIZZWIDGET I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH I WILL KILL YOOOOUUUUU!!!" Fizzwidget got up and said "Hey man, just a joke. Where my car?" Wario smiled and pointed to his stomach. Fizzwidget screamed "NOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE YOU ATE MY CAR YOU FUCKING ATE IT YOU RUINED MY LIIIIIIFFFEEEEE!!!!!!!" Fizzwidget tore his arm off and did a quintuple backflip in the air and performed a helm splitter on Wario with his own severed arm. Wario, stunned, fell backwards and took a massive beating from fizzwidget. Fizzwidget said "I HOPE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON YOU SON OF A BITCH." and walked away. But Wario got up and ran at him at the speed of light, turning both him and fizzwidget into a 666 course meal. Francis then ran out of the auditorium and ate the food and exploded into guts and stomach acid, killing every living cell in the universe. ONE DAY FIZZWIDGET WAS SO HAPPY AND SO EXCITED HE WENT TO GODLEN CORRAL TO FEAST. HE ATE THE WHOLE BUFFET IN 666 NANOSECONDS, BUT HE WANTED MORE! FIZZWIDGET STARTED TO EAT THE TABLES AND THE CHAIRS. HE TELEPORTED TO THE KITCHEN WHERE HE THREW A FAT EMPLOYEE INTO THE DEEP FRYER AND ATE HIM. HE THEN WENT TO THE DEEP FRYER AND DRANK ALL OF THE LIQUID. FIZZWIDGET WAS SO HAPPY FOR ONE MILLENIUM AND HE SPENT THE WHOLE TIME RESTING HIS EYES AND LETTING HIS FOOD DIGEST. AFTER THE LONG MILLENIUM, FIZZWIDGET STOOD UP AND REALIZED THAT HE NEEDED TO RELEASE FECES. HE GOT UP AND RAN TO THE BATHRROM EVEN THOUGH HE WAS SO FAT HE MOVED SLOWLY. HE KILLED 666 PEOPLE TRYING TO GET TO THE BATHROOM. WHEN HE GOT IN THERE, HE SAT DOWN AND WENT. HIS SHIT WAS PURE BROWN AND BLACK WITH LIQUID SHIT STREAMING DOWN HIS ASSHOLE. IT TOOK SO LONG TO WIPE THAT HE WAS RELIEVED WHEN HE GOT OFF. BUT FIZZWIDGET SHAT SO HARD THAT HIS COLON FELL OUT AND WHEN HE FLUSHED THE TOILET, IT SUCKED HIS COLON ANS GE WENR OUT OF CONTROL. FIZZWIDGETS BODY STARTED SLAMMING AGAINST THE WALL WITH BLOOD STAINS SPRAYING. HE THEN LANDED HIS FACE IN THE TOOLET WITH BLACK SHIT. HE WAS SO DISGUSTED THAT HE THREW UP SO HARD THAT HIS ENTIRE BODY TURNED INSIDE OUT AND HE EXPLODED IN DISGUST. ALL OF THR STOMACH ACID THAT CAME OUT OF HIS BODY SPRAYED AND IT WEBT EVERYWHERE! IT DEVOURED THE RESTAURANT AND IN 1 NANOSECOND THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE WAS COVERED IN MOLTEN SHIT INFESTED STOMACH ACID. One time a police officer was investigating Fizzwidgets car under local suspicion of a quintuple shotgun being ILLEGALLY CONCEALED within the vehicle. Fizzwidget came outside and said "Take one step closer to my car and I'm gonna KILL YOU." The cop said "FREEZE YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS OF CHILD MOLESTATION, LOITERING, BRANDISHING, HOMICIDE, KIDNAPPING, MANSLAUGHTER, POSSESSION AND DISTRIBUTION OF "MEDICAL MARIJUANA", TAX EVASION, TAX FRAUD, RAPE, SLAVERY, GRAND THEFT, TERRORISM, TREASON, ASSAULT, ARSON, ARMED ROBBERY, POACHING, CANNIBALISM, SELF CANNIBALISM, ACID ATTACK, TORTURE, CHILD NEGLECT, ANIMAL FIGHTING, AND WAR. IF YOU SIR, TAKE ONE STEP, THERE WILL NOT BE A SINGLE DROP OF BLOOD LEFT." *Hundreds of tanks and choppers begin to close in on FIZZIDGET. It was looking like the end for fizzwidget, but he wasnt going to give up that easily. Fizzwidget did a quintuple frontflip and landed on the top of the world trade center. He slammed his stomach against the roof and the whole building came crashing down, creating another 9/11. Fizzwidget was now officially done. Why the fuck he thought that was a good idea to do right now, god only knows. The cop screamed "FIRE" and the tanks and choppers opened fire on fizzwidget and left a 666x911 mile crater. Fizzwidget was launched all the way to paris and got impaled on the eiffel tower. Wario was currently fighting a war in Iran, but when he heard the news, he used all his garlic power to teleport to the eiffel tower to have one final brawl to make sure his arch nemesis was dead. Fizzwidget got up and said "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!" Wario ripped his jaw off and threw it like a boomerang at fizzwidget and knocked him off the eiffel tower and he smashed into a massive pile of guts and blood at the bottom. He revitalized himself but wario took the opportunity to build a massive cannon. He and fizzwidget fought to the death until wario was missing an eye and his left testicle and fizzwidget was down to the B O N E. Wario was hell bent on destroying fizzwidget once and for all. he grabbed fizzwidget and threw him into the cannon and shot him into the sun, but fizzwidget implanted a piece of metal inside of wario during the brawl and he used magnesis to carry him with him. Wario was so fucking pissed that he screamed "YOU FUCKING STUBBORN JACKASS WHY CANT YOU JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY YOU PIECE OF SHIT." They were fighting in space when francis heard what fizzwidget did on the news and knew what had to be done. Fizzwidget was his best friend of all time, but he had to kill him. Francis called a homing air strike to follow the next gen xbox that fizzwidget implanted into his brain so he could play xbox in his M I N D. Fizzwidget got blown into a quintillion tiny space bits and wario got blown back to America. Wario won thousands of awards and nobel peace prizes and was titled "Hero of the Millenium", "True Avenger of 9/11", and "Preventer of the Second Holocaust". Then they found out his criminal record of shootings in multiple movie theaters during movies with black protagonists. He was burned at the stakes and shot into the sky with fizzwidget. Fizzwidget's dust became stars overnight, but they were so bright that they made every living thing gouge their own eyes out and bleed to death the end. One day Fizzwidget and Francis were playing cards at Wario’s mine. Wario has a mine cart system that lets them play near the core of the earth. They were all sitting on rocks playing poker, and fizzwidget was doing great, as he keeps winning every game, with his pot stacked up in the air. Wario was beyond pissed because he was losing in his own god damn home. Wario was suspicious though, so in the deck, Wario sprayed some Raid on a shitty card he knew Fizzwidget would grab. Eventually in the game, Fizzwidget grabbed the card, but nothing happened so the game went on, but then Fizzwidget started coughing. Then that card flew out of Fizzwidget’s mouth. FIZZWIDGET CHEATED. Wario said, “Alright, alright you son of a bitch, get out of my home N O W!” Then Fizzwidgets stomach started growing and he said, “OHHHHH NOOOOOOOO!” Then a million cards started flying out of Fizzwidget’s mouth and stomach acid stained cards were scattered upon the table. “THATS IT,” Wario said and there was loud screaming as he ripped off Francis’s head with his bare hands and threw it at Fizzwidget and knocked him over the cliff. Wario dived after him and grabbed him amid air and started banging his skull against his nose. They landed on the ground and Wario kept stomping on Fizzwidget’s head. Then Wario screamed as loud as 9/11 because Fizzwidget ate his foot all the way up to the ankle. Then Fizzwidget made a loud obnoxious and disgusting farting sound and pulled a bat out of his ass, and just starting slamming it at Wario’s head. “Haha you stupid son of bitch, YOU REALLY THOUGHT YOU COULD WIN!” Wario saw a bucket of lava on the ground and splashed it at Fizzwidget. Fizzwidget ate the whole things and started laughing like he was mentally retarded, then a loud explosion happened. FIZZWIDGET’S STOMACH EXPLODED. Wario was laughing and then some of Fizzwidget’s stomach acid flowed down to the core and mixed with magma and there was a massive explosion and the two were burned so bad they looked like a crazt fat BLACKASS. The only traceable piece of evidence of this brawl was Francis’s decapitated body resting on the table in a pool of blood. It was Francis' turn to cook dinner. Wario and Fizzwidget were sitting at the dining table slamming their forks and knives on the table screaming that they were hungry and to hurry the fuck up you son of a bitch. Wario kept threatening Francis that if he didn't make garlic surprise then he was DONE. Fizzwidget ripped his entire torso off and gave it to Francis to cook and told Francis that he would be on the menu next time if he didn't cook it. When Wario found out about Fizzwidget's request he immediately threw his bread knife right between Fizzwidget's eyes and he fainted with his head in his bowl of scalding hot chili appetizer. He got up after 10 minutes with 6th degree burns all over his face and his skull exposed, blackened by the chili. Wario was laughing so hard pounding his fist on the table and pointing his finger at Fizzwidget's new makeover. Fizzwidget said "Fool me once, fuck you. Fool me twice, fuck me. Fool me three times, YOU'RE FUCKING DONE! Francis then announced that dinner was ready and slammed the silver platter on the center of the table. He removed the silver dome to reveal a massive steaming pile of shit, fresh from the ass. "Bon Appetit!" said Francis with a grotesque smile. Wario and Fizzwidget slowly turned their heads to Francis with glowing red eyes, then pounced on him, ripping skin from flesh, flesh from bone, tissue from organ, cell from tissue, etc. Eventually, Wario and Fizzwidget looked up to see Francis standing their with his tinfoil skyrim helmet on. He shouted "HAHAHA THAT WAS ACTUALLY MY TWIN BROTHER YOU DUMB SHITS! NOW YOU WILL PAY FOR ALL THE BULLSHIT YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH!!!" and charged forward with his electric guitar hero guitar and smashed Fizzwidget in the face so hard his charred cheekbones caved in and his melted brain leaked out. Wario parried the guitar and impaled Francis with a blade made of pure garlic energy then unleashed a beam of garlic right down his throat. It was so bad that Francis started coughing up diarrhea and sneezed out of his ass. But, Wario didn't realize that Francis had already injected himself with Wario's DNA from his severed head after a decisive brawl with the gamemaster. Francis absorbed all of the garlic and became GARCIS, after all the francium in his body chemically combined with the garcium from the pure garlic. In just that instant, Fizzwidget used all of his brain cells to possess each cell from Francis' brother to raise an army of 30 trillion fat people. Wario was immediately beaten into submission by the fat fuckers. Garcis wiped out 3 trillion of them with a massive garlic beam and then launched billions of garlic missiles around the world, killing millions of innocents (mostly blacks) and fat people. The copies of Francis' brother starting climbing on top of one another to make a gigantic titan capable of causing 666 911's in a heartbeat. Garcis shot hundreds of garlic cloves, hoping one would strike Fizzwidget's slowly regenerating body within, but it was in vain. Soon the Fat Titan imploded on itself into a COLOSSAL FIZZWIDGET and all hell broke loose. GARCIS WAS TRYING TO ENTER FIZZWIDGET'S BELLY BUTTON TO BLOW HIM UP FROM THE INSIDE OUT BUT WAS UNABLE TO GET PAST THE DIGUSTING SMELL. FIZZWIDGET MOCKED AND LAUGHED AT GARCIS THEN PUNCHED HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE AND HE WENT FLYING RIGHT INTO ICELAND, SPLITTING IT IN HALF EVEN FURTHER. FIZZWIDGET STARTED INHALING PEOPLE AND THEN THE GAMEMASTER FLEW UP, DANGLING FROM A PS1 CONTROLLER ATTACHED TO HIS PS3, AND SCREAMED "YOU MOTHERFUCKER YOU ATE ALL MY GODDAMN GAMES!!!" HE THREW A BAG OF BACON CHEDDAR INTO FIZZWIDGET'S MOUTH AND HE WAS SO DISGUSTED THAT HE PULLED OUT A PISTOL AND SHOT HIMSELF RIGHT IN THE HEAD! His dead body flew into space and eventually into the sun, causing a massive sun flare that burned right through Mercury and Venus then scorched Africa right off of the Earth. Garcis was so tired that he died of exhaustion right over the atlantic ocean and his garlic aura dissipated, tainting the entire world's water supply and killing every living thing in the planet the end. Species It is unknown what Fizzwidget's species is, although Qwark, Al, and Fizzwidget are the same species. Description: 1 Three Fingers 2 Tend to have a big build 3 Big Chin 4 Elbows points out 5 Hands are often expressed in a suprised mode, even though they're not. 6 one or two antennae 7 Cat Ears 8 Very, very F A T legs 9 FAILIURE IN LIFE 10 Self cannibalistic 11 Morbidly obese 12 SOOOOOO COOOOOOL 13 Excessive blood and stomach acid levels 14 Fizzwidget caused 911. So it is known that in the next game, it needs to be revealed, (if there is one), or it needs to be locked in to the Insomniac Personnnel. Half-Assed Explanation Multiverse The Multiverse is a hypothetical group of multiple universes. The main premise is that there can exist multiple universes co-existing with each other at the same point in time, but with different outcomes and conclusions. This relates to Fizzwidget because there exists multiple stories where Fizzwidget would die, all living cells would die, or even the entire universe was destroyed. This then creates a possible explanation on how Fizzwidget "comes back" in no time. Personality The most controversial part of Fizzwidget would have to be his personality. As many believe he has superior intelligence and prioritizes innovation, he is also conveyed to others as fat fucking idiot, that is completely useless, with no common sense what so ever. Examples range from creating brilliant technology that could change the future, all the way to distorted beliefs such as thinking clothes can’t be taken off once put on. Nevertheless, everyone can agree Fizzwidget is a complete stubborn jackass. He heavily relies on what he thinks is logically correct and never thinks about anyone else’s feelings. Proof can be found from the “Brawls” section, in which he would bear the ever lasting shit out of someone for simple mistakes, and have the need to “teach someone a lesson.” Relationships Wario - Archenemy, Friend (Formerly) Fizzwidget and Wario have been friends for years, and they would do everything together, along with Francis. As time progressed, Wario has grown tired of Fizzwidget's pretentious and boastful personality, and Wario pulled the last straw at the talk show. Ever since, they would always fight and try to beat each other to the death. Francis - Best Friend Fizzwidget is best friends with Francis, but he sometimes gets into gruesome brawls with him, resulting in terribles injuries and/or death to one or both individuals. They met on Xbox Live after Francis doxxed a kid's phone number for calling him fat and Fizzwidget tracked the number and went to the kid's house and put a bullet in his head. They always played together since then, spreading terror to every gaming server as their body counts were racked up exponentially. They each have massive bounties on their heads, yet they manage to elude the government each time an investigation is launched. Wario eventually partook in these investigations when he joined the military, but tha will be explained in the soon-to-be-released Freewrite timeline. Trivia Crimes • Though evidence seems to be destroyed every time, FIZZWIDGET has been accused of thousands of acts of Child Molestation and Kidnapping. • Fizzwidget has been caught and has received many death threats, several times, for loitering around fast food restaurants from 12 am to 6 am when he is begging for the fast food restaurants to open because he is starving. • He has a secretary named Ms. Bluebottom (https://web.archive.org/web/20220217023523/https://insomniacgoingcommando.fandom.com/wiki/Miss_Bluebottom). • On the last day before his retirement, he brutally murdered his secretary, Ms. Bluebottom, and ate all of the remains. Her guts were found in the sewers because fizzwidget fucked up his digestive system because he forced it to digest itself one time, resulting in permanent damage. Preferences • His favorite gaming console is Xbox. • He has shit his pants several times. • He likes his steak raw. • His favorite color is his skin color because he gets to eat what’s underneath it. • Every night, he goes home and eats a whole pizza. • His favorite part of his body to eat are his fingers because they are the fastest to consume. • His favorite movies are Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead, Tremors: a Cold Day in Hell, Monty Python: the Meaning of Life, Street Trash, Norm of the North, The Nutty Professor, Pinocchio, Brother Bear, Garbage Pail Kids, Super Mario Bros., Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Shrek, and of course Ratchet and Clank: the Movie • His favorite TV shows are “My 666 Billion Pound Life” and “Diners, Dives, and Drive Ins.” • He eats a whole pizza every day • He believes in a Fascist dictatorship and thinks Liberal Democracy is retarded. Abilities • He can convert all his fat into other parts of his body. One time he did this to attack a fire emblem character by converting all his fat into his fist. As expected, the attack was countered, resulting in a quick liposuction. • He is somewhat immortal, as he can instantly grow back from a single cell. • He has the ability to possess any living thing like an infection by taking over all of it's cells using a single cell of his own. There is no vaccine for this, but it only works on people with godawful immune systems (e.g. fat people). References • His name is a parody of Abercrombie and Fitch, a popular clothes line. • He has a car that appears in Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate. It is a cheap piece of shit that only goes around in circles, has a shotgun cannon, and can shoot a crazt fat blackass. • He resembles a Stygian Zinogre • He has an status skill in Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate where your defense is multiplied by 1.2 billion, but your health is reduced to zero, making it utterly useless. • His arch nemesis is Wario because he had a rumble with him after FIZZWIDGET showed off his self-cannibalistic skills at a talk show. Other • He used to have a pet black bear, but one day it was being hunted. The bear clawed up a tree to find safety, but he lost his grip and fell 50 feet towards the grounds on his back, instantly killing him. • He knew Norm of the North as cub. • He had to be brought back to life on the operating table after he fell off a plane and was i mpaled in the stomach off the tip of the Eiffel Tower.

• He is known to frequently tear his head off for no apparent reason to create of blood fountain.

• One time he wanted to pull a prank on wario, so he asked francis to kill him and only leave a gallon of blood and to let it sink into the core of the earth so he can regrow in the center of the earth, causing massive worldwide earthquakes. Much to Fizzwidget's dismay, everybody but Wario died including his best friend francis.


External Links[]

Mario Kart Double Dash!! Official Website

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